It wasn’t just one accident or disease but a series of disorders that went undiagnosed and untreated. My disabled body is not a fixed state but a fluid mode of being, on a path towards deep embodied knowing, to heal the torment I have endured over fifteen years within the Medical Industrial Complex. Today, doctor’s bedside rhetoric is filled with modern terms for hysteria to gaslight and inflict gendered medical abuse. This form of medical trauma is endemic amongst millions of womxn globally. The disbelief of our suffering is drowned out by the western ideals of whiteness, beauty, femininity, ability, and health. I reclaim my voice, my self, my time, and my lived experience of being silenced and disregarded as a woman in pain, as truth.